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Yes mom, I’m sorry you still cant be proud of what I’m doing with my life. Yes, I really do send Dildos to people in the mail. You’re just going to have to figure out what to tell Aunt Betty on your own!

I don’t know the address of the person I’m sending the Dildo to.

That’s not a question, but I’m sure you can figure it out. We highly recommend sending it to their place of work because it is usually a posted address. Or check their Facebook page, or do a little internet sleuthing.

I know the address but not the postal/zip code.

Again… that’s not really a question, but if you take a look at this site you’ll get what you’re looking for: https://www.usps.com/zip4/

Who should I send a Dildo to?

It’s been said that people, on average, are able to keep a close network of about 250 people in their lives. I recommend all of them. However, my top 10 list of people to send a dildo to would be:

1) Coworkers
2) Ex Girlfriend/Boyfriend
3) Roommates/Landlords
4) Your best Friend
5) The Westboro Baptist Church
6) Terrorists
7) Your estranged father
8) Favorite Politician
9) The man that killed your father/brother/dog
10) My Aunt Betty

Can I customize the message?

As of right now, yes, if you pay me a little more. If it becomes to much work to get all that figured out, then the answer will change to no.

Can I send to Europe/Asia/Australia?

As of right now, no. Hopefully that will change as I increase how many sales I make, or there is enough demand for it. Shipping will probably cost more if I do set it up.

Are they certified Vegan/Gluten free?

What? They’re dildos… I think you’re using them wrong.