FAQ

Order your Dildos right from our Home page or Shop Page! Thanks!

Seriously?

Yes mom, I’m sorry you still cant be proud of what I’m doing with my life. Yes, I really do send Dildos to people in the mail. You’re just going to have to figure out what to tell Aunt Betty on your own!

I don’t know the address of the person I’m sending the Dildo to.

That’s not a question, but I’m sure you can figure it out. We highly recommend sending it to their place of work because it is usually a posted address. Or check their Facebook page, or do a little internet sleuthing.

I know the address but not the postal/zip code.

Again… that’s not really a question, but if you take a look at this site you’ll get what you’re looking for: https://www.usps.com/zip4/

Who should I send a Dildo to?

It’s been said that people, on average, are able to keep a close network of about 250 people in their lives. I recommend all of them. However, my top 10 list of people to send a dildo to would be:

1) Coworkers
2) Ex Girlfriend/Boyfriend
3) Roommates/Landlords
4) Your best Friend
5) The Westboro Baptist Church
6) Terrorists
7) Your estranged father
8) Favorite Politician
9) The man that killed your father/brother/dog
10) My Aunt Betty

Can I customize the message?

As of right now, yes, if you pay me a little more. If it becomes to much work to get all that figured out, then the answer will change to no.

Can I send to Europe/Asia/Australia?

As of right now, no. Hopefully that will change as I increase how many sales I make, or there is enough demand for it. Shipping will probably cost more if I do set it up.

Are they certified Vegan/Gluten free?

What? They’re dildos… I think you’re using them wrong.